


Under Circumstances

by mddx



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avatar Azula (Avatar), Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Azula (Avatar)-centric, Azula is a child, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Protective Siblings, Protective Zuko (Avatar), She's not crazy she's really damaged, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26207737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mddx/pseuds/mddx
Summary: Aang died 100 years ago, and two more generations of Avatar have come and gone without anyone realizing.Unlike Zuko, Azula isn't tied down by insecurity or seeking approval that won't come. She's always been a survivor. When the situation changes, she adapts.Avatar!AzulaFeaturing: A dragon egg, Azula having no idea how to have friendships, Katara and Sokka being a good model for siblings, Toph and Zuko getting into good trouble, and Azula's strange POV
Relationships: Azula & Katara (Avatar), Azula & Sokka (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Zuko
Comments: 21
Kudos: 132





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> i make no apologies for typos or other mistakes. all mistakes are my own and purposeful

Azula’s face was blank. Not apathetic or bored or trying to hide something else. She stood in the middle of a wide, empty hallway, her eyes wide by not scared and mouth open but not gasping. Standing at her side, it is both unimportant, unnoticeable, and also the most concerning face Zuko has ever seen his 10-year-old sister make.  
She stares at a tapestry, her detached face furrowing her eyebrows slightly and pushing her lip out. She’s concentrating. Either she’s unaware Zuko is there or she doesn’t care. Her right hand slowly reaches up as if to offer it to an animal to sniff. Gracefully, she curls her fingers to her palm.

Across the hall, the dragon tapestry waves slightly. To anyone passing by, it would have been signs of a draft in the palace. Azula turns toward Zuko, her eerily detached concentration unnerving him. Zuko wants to speak, but the moment suffocates him out. Azula reaches her hand toward him, repeating the same simple motion with her small hand. The end of Zuko’s phoenix tail sways gently.

“Azula,” Zuko breaths out, and he wonders if she’s the one who’s taken the air from his lungs.

She looks up at him and blinks a few times. She makes eye contact with him for only a moment before her eyes glaze over, her hand stuck in the air. She blinks slowly, her breath even but shallow.

Zuko snaps out of his trance and realizes that the pounding in his head is the blood in his ears. He grabs her hand from the air. Her face doesn’t show recognition, but she lets him curl her fingers through his. He’s pulling, pulling her down the hall. She lets him, walking on light feet like the princess she’s never been.

The walk down the hallway, hurried by not running, swims by her in a haze. She is mostly aware of what is going on, what has transpired, what she did. She knows this. These things happened. She is not in denial.

She just doesn’t know how to respond.

Aware now that they’ve stopped, Azula realizes that Zuko is opening a door. Her steady heartbeat jumps for a moment before she realizes that it’s the door to Zuko’s room. Not Father’s. Not Mother’s. Not a member of the council. Not a guard’s. Not even hers. This is neutral territory.

Stumbling in after a yank on her arm, Azula finds herself being set down on a bed. Zuko stands in front of her, holding her hands tightly and trying to make eye contact. She blinks a few more times before realizing that she needs to respond before Zuko goes running to Mother. The baby.

“That was interesting,” she says, realizing those are not the words to say here, but she doesn’t know what the right words are anymore. She doesn’t know what is expected of here. She doesn’t know the rubric for this.

“Azula,” Zuko says in a hurried whisper. “Are you going to tell Father?”

Azula pauses for half a moment before answering quietly, “No.”

“What are you going to do?”  
“I don’t…. know.” She doesn’t sound upset, and that only freaks Zuko out more.

Zuko’s words return to a whisper, even though they’re alone in the room. “What of the Fire Nation?”

Azula’s processing that question. Finally, Zuko realizes he made an error. A detached Azula was not the more terrifying he’s seen her.

Azula’s eyes widen, and her breaths deepen. She stares intently at Zuko’s shirt. “I don’t know,” she says, and her voice shakes in ways that Zuko didn’t know it could. His own panic is set aside for a moment as moves a hand to firmly force her head up to look at his tight expression.

“I swear my loyalty to you,” the words tumble out of him, but they sound strong. “If that means to the Fire Nation, then to the Fire Nation. If not, I… then I’m not.” He ends less sure than he started. He can’t say the words.

“Okay,” Azula responds, looking away from him. She knows that’s also not the right response. “I need to sleep.”

“What?” Zuko is taken back. “What do you mean?”  
“I don’t know. I need to sleep.”  
“Azula, that doesn’t make sense. Are you ti-”

Zuko is suddenly very glad that he choose to be right in front of her to catch his baby sister as her eyes roll to the back of her head and her limp body falls against him.

  
  


\-----------------------------------------------------------

  
  


Azula finds herself staring at a pale blue sky. She sits up. Around her, pale trees take a wide circle around a dirt clearing. She stands up, gently brushing the dirt off of herself. Where did Zuko go? Did he leave her here? Well, it’s better than him going straight to Father, but honestly, you’d think he’d have a little bit more balls than to just dump her in a forest.

Behind her, Azula hears a soft thumping noise, and she spins around, already in a defensive stance. At the far end of the clearing is the entrance of a cave. Something compels her to walk forward, and given no other direction, she follows it. She enters the warm, dim cave and 

About the size of her head, the pale purple egg sits in the dirt, tucked under a dirty, wet blanket. She takes a few steps toward it, and the thudding gets loudly. The thudding is coming from inside of the egg. She steps even closer and leans down, and she’s about to touch it when she hears a voice from behind her.

“I’m afraid I didn’t manage to get it to a very safe spot,” a tall, weary young man says softly, “But it’s been undisturbed still. It’s the best I could do.”

“Who are you?” Azula knows she should be afraid, but she’s not. The man is dressed in simple prison clothes, and from the metal cuffs binding his hands, Azula isn’t sure how she didn’t hear him approach.

He smiles at her. “You know who I am.”

“... Avatar Forro.” She states. She blinks. “Everyone thinks you escaped into the mountain.”

He chuckles sadly. “I did. I also knew that I wasn’t getting out of Fire Nation territory. I never did get very far into my training.”

“You died then.” Azula states. “When?”  
Avatar Forro gives a soft smile. “You know the answer to that too, Azula.”

She does. He died ten years ago. She nods.

She has a thousand questions to ask, but one dominates the others just slightly. She turns back to the egg.  
“Is it mine?”

“The egg?”  
“Yeah.”

“It is. It’s the last one.”  
“A dragon?”

“A dragon.”

A grin breaks across her face. She presses a hand to it, and now she can feel the soft thumping. It’s a heartbeat. She knows it.

“You’re mine,” she says in awe. Behind her, Forro chuckles.

“That’s your priority right now?”

Azula knows she should feel offended at his statement, but a strange giddiness runs through her. “Yes,” she whispers, “She’s mine.”

Though she can’t see it, Forro smiles softly at the girl’s childish awe. He’s never seen her this… young. He was worried this would go worse than it was.

“We only have a few moments to talk before I have to get you back to your brother,” he admits, and Azula turns back to look at him. “Is there anything you’d like to know?”

Azula pauses. “I’m the avatar?”  
“Yes.”

“Okay. Where are we?”  
Forro is taken back by her blunt dismissal at something that should be a much bigger deal. “In the spiritual world.”  
“Yeah, I know that. I mean like. Where’s this cave? Where’s the egg?”

Forro blinks. “Oh. We’re a few miles east of First Lord’s Harbor.”  
Azula nods. “Okay. I can get there.”

Forro frowns. “You won’t be able to contact me once you’re here.”

Azula nods. “Yeah, I know. I don’t need you.”

“What? But I-”

“You can send me back to my brother now.”

“But we still have-”

“I don’t need it.”

“...”

  
  
  


\-----------------------------------------------------------

  
  


Azula opens her eyes to see her brother freaking out.

“Don’t be a baby. I wasn’t out that long.”

“Azula!” Zuko grabs her shoulders, but she shakes him off.

“What?”

Zuko’s voice is still a whisper. Doesn’t he know they’re alone?

“You’re the-”  
“The avatar, yes, I figured that one out, birdbrain.”

Zuko stares at her, wide-eyed.

Azula grins. “Now that that’s over, do you want to find a dragon?”

  
  


\-----------------------------------------------------------

  
  


Ten days later, two siblings discover a dragon egg. It thumps, and it thumps, but it does not hatch. They tell no one.

One year later, a prince is burned at hands of his father. A voice in the back of his head asks if treason is worth it, but he has already sworn his loyalty. He grits his teeth. He wakes up on a boat, a large egg smuggled into his belongings but without its owner.

Two years later, a refugee and his uncle open a tea shop.

Three years later, the body of Avatar Forro is found, well beyond decay. The Fire Nation Avatar may soon realize their identity. The sages must act fast.


	2. Chapter 1

In the dead of night, a princess slips gracefully out of a window, a bag over her shoulder under a dark cloak. She’s barefoot, and her steps are silent as she uses the thick roots of trees around the garden as stepping stones to avoid the crunch of leaves and branches. She steps onto a bench before vaulting herself on top of a low wall. She looks down below at the long drop off the hill- the wall was clearly built to keep people out, not the other way around. Nobody keeps a princess from anywhere, she thinks with a bitter irony.  
She walks along the skinny wall, one foot in front of the other. If she stumbles ever so slightly, it was the bag that threw her off balance, and nobody is there to prove anything. She reaches a familiar tree on the outside of the wall and uses a branch to swing herself safely onto the soft grass.

From there, she relaxes and walks along the wall, a hand trailing along the smooth wood. She ducks under a short opening of trees and walks along the dirty animal path. She walks under the moonlight until she hits a shallow, winding stream. Even though she knows she’s alone, she keeps her steps quiet in the gentle water. She walks upstream, enjoying the cool feeling of fresh water.

She reaches the origin of the stream, a small opening in the ground. How funny is it, she thinks, that this little stream turns into a river. All from a tiny opening.

She sighs and throws her bag and cloak on the bank. She sits cross-legged on a smooth rock and takes a deep breath. She watches the light of the moon glimmer in the clear water.

She first found this location after Zuko… left. Initially, she had been hopeful. Perhaps with Zuko gone, Ozai would be kinder, warmer. His problem was with Zuko, right? He told Azula himself. Zuko was weak- Zuko was  _ making  _ her weak. Zuko was why he was angry.

Instead, she realized a dangerous truth. With Zuko gone, she was now the golden child  _ and _ the black sheep. She was both perfect and unworthy of life. There was no one else to distract Ozai from every failure of hers. He may have been careful to not scar her, but that meant nothing about avoiding hurting her.

A tuft of hair slips out of her perfect topknot and tickles her nose. She slips her fingers through her hair, letting it fall onto her back loosely. She feels… normal. She forgets what being a person feels like. Sometimes she’s not totally sure she’s ever known what being a person feels like, but sitting here alone, at night, with nobody looking for her… She thinks she’s probably close. She’d never admit it, but she misses Zuko. Beyond selfishly wanting him to protect her from their father, she misses the way he treated her like a person. And would be the only one to think she’s a person, if everyone found out who she really was.

She sighs, refusing to fight the internal battle inside of her. She closes her eyes and settles her mind.

The young airbender starts by listening, as she usually does. She follows the window through the air, feeling where it flows and especially where it doesn’t. She finds herself falling deep into the trance of the air, and her stress floats away.

Behind her, a leaf falls off a tree, and she raises her hand to make a gust of air to push it back up. She stands slowly- methodical with her movements that follow the air around her. She keeps her eyes closed as she tries to reach out and  _ feel _ . She sends a gust around a tree, circling slowly. Brushing the dust off of an acorn to her right. Sending a cool breeze through her hair, tickling her back.

Everything she does is small. She can’t risk drawing attention to herself. As much as she hates it, she’s never allowed herself to airbend like she firebends. Her airbending has to be soft, gentle, light. She’s a master of control, but she has no idea how powerful she is. She’s silent, stealthy. Almost like a ninja, the childish part of her laughs.

When she starts to feel Agni on her skin, she opens her eyes. The world is turning orange around her, and her inner farm preens at its strength. As she puts the scroll back in her bag, she tosses the cloak over her shoulders once again and makes her way back into the palace. Through the stream, along the path, over the wall, and back into her window. Just as she shoves her bag under the floorboards, there’s a hesitant knock at the door.

“Princess Azula. The Fire Lord requests you in the throne room at once.”

“Yes,” She answers monotone, “I will find my way there as soon as I am decent.”

She wishes they would warn her if Ozai was in a bad mood. Like Zuko would. Like they would for Zuko. Though, she supposes, she’s never deserved that. And she’s never needed it. The fact that she’s here at all proves that.

She looks in the mirror, collecting herself for a moment as she puts her hair neatly back up. She rubs her eyes slightly, and while she looks tired, she mostly looks like she just rose.

She closes her eyes, falling back into character. When she opens them again, the same bitch is looking back at her. This time when she steps out of her room, her steps are loud. She is Crown Princess Azula, and this is her palace again.

She opens the door to the throne room, careful not to be too quiet nor too loud, and steps inside. Her father sits on the throne, the only one in the room. She turns off the alarm bells that ring inside of her head.

She sits in a perfect sezia, looking up at the Fire Lord as though she has no fear.

“As I’m sure you heard, Avatar Forro died well over a decade ago,” Ozai states. Azula can feel the blood in her ears. “Meaning the avatar has long been reborn into the Fire Nation.”

Azula gives a sharp nod, not trusting her own voice.

“We’ve located the Avatar,” he states, cutting to the chase. Her heart pounds, but her eyes scan him. He’s not tensing. He’s not preparing for battle. Surely he doesn’t think she’ll surrender to a life locked away, right? She waits a beat longer.

“Zuko is the Avat-”

Azula cuts him off by laughing harshly, the anxiety bubbling in her chest coming out at the worst time. He’s going to- wait. “Zuko?” spills out of her mouth, and she can’t stop laughing. Oh Agni. Oh Agni please let Ozai be in a good mood. Maybe with the mention of Zuko, she’s temporarily relieved of “worst child” duties.

Agni really is looking down on her because Ozai grins sharply. “I had the same reaction,” he states, and Azula feels all of the tension roll off of her. He thinks she thinks this is funny. “But it’s true. Multiple sources have confirmed he has a dragon egg- the same one Forro smuggled out two decades ago.” He frowns again. “Zhao has reported almost master earthbending done by him. Still, it’s unlikely he’s mastered air or water. I need you to capture him before that happens.”

Azula nods sharply again as plans whirl in her head. “Of course, Fire Lord Ozai. The next time you see me, your eyes will be on the Avatar.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------

“Ah!” Zuko yells as a 12 year old menace shoots a spiral of earth up on his left, “Toph! I’m sorry! I take it back!”

“Say it like you mean it!” she yells, sending another to his right.

Zuko laughs. “Okay! Okay! You’re Uncle’s favorite!”

The earth falls back down.

“That’s exactly what I thought.”


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See TW at the end notes

Azula knew she was unraveling. As a royal fleet made its way to Ba Sing Se, the reality of the situation grew closer.

With Zuko gone, the only one who  _ knew _ , she’d split herself in two. It was easy. Avatar Azula and Princess Azula were different. She didn’t have to consider the moral dilemma. She could protect herself, and nobody would know her secret.

She bursts out laughing again, staring out at the ocean. She’s laughing so hard that she’s almost crying. If anyone asks, she still thinks Zuko being the avatar is funny. Well, it  _ is _ , but that’s not why she’s laughing.

“Azula?” a hesitant voice asks behind her. Azula whips around to see the concerned express of Ty Lee.

“What do you want?” she tries to demand, but the last of a giggle is still in her throat. Ty Lee’s expression doesn’t change.

“... Are you really okay with this? Knowing what the Fire Lord is going to do to Zuko?” she reaches an arm out to place on Azula’s shoulder, but Azula moves away sharply.

“Of course I’m alright,” Azula doesn’t mind the laugh that follows after that, “He’s a traitor to the Fire Nation.”  _ I’m a traitor to the Fire Nation. _

“You know if the situation was reversed, Zuko wouldn’t... I…” Ty Lee trails off, uncomfortable. “Okay. I guess if you want to talk, you know where to find me.” She leaves. Azula looks back to the ocean and snickers.

Azula doesn’t have to imagine if the roles were reversed because Azula  _ is _ a traitor to the Fire Nation. She’s the one who should be chased by a fleet. She’s the one who should have been banished for being cowardly. She’s the one who should have fought the Agni Kai. She’s the one. This is  _ her fault _ , and she brought Zuko into it. She’s sentenced him to death, she realizes. She sentenced him to death all those years ago, and it’s only catching up on her now. 

She saw his loyalty and held onto it desperately,  _ selfishly.  _ Would he have spoken up, if he didn’t know the truth of his sister?

She balls her first and punches into the air, at the sky, at Agni themself. Lightning sparkles out of her fingertips, and she laughs again, loudly this time. Her lightning is like a whip. It’s hot and angry, and she doesn’t even know what at anymore.

Her mother was right. Her father is right. She’s a monster. She’s a traitor. She’s a coward. She’s justified it by separating herself, but that’s coming crashing down. Zuko is going to reveal her in an instant. She hasn’t seen him in years. She’s been sent to kill him. Everyone knows Zuko can’t lie to save his life- which is exactly why they’re going to listen to him. He  _ should  _ reveal her.

She’s a traitor as a Fire Nation princess. She’s a monster as the Avatar.

She doesn’t realize that her laughing has turned to tears until she finds it hard to see.

“Oh, Azula,” and  _ no _ . Ty Lee  _ didn’t leave. _ And she  _ saw that _ . And-

“Get out of here!” Azula yells, sparks shooting from her tongue, from her fingers, from the ends of her hair. And Ty Lee-

Ty Lee looks terrified. She leaves this time. Azula watches her close the cabin door behind her.

No one is left on the deck of the ship.

Except Azula.

She misses…. She doesn’t really know what she misses. She misses things she’s never had. She misses being protected like she never was. She misses trusting someone to tell her what’s best for her.

She won’t turn herself in- she can’t. She won’t try to chase Zuko. Wherever he is by now- whatever the hell she got him into- he deserves to be left alone. She imagines him and Uncle Iroh were laughing about this whole situation. In a different way than Azula laughs.

Does Iroh know? Azula’s thoughts shift. Huh. Probably not. The fat bastard would turn her in to return to the life of luxury at any moment.

Back to brooding.

What… what does Zuko even look like now? In her mind, he has the same scared face that he had begging on his knees. That face hasn’t changed in her might. Right before the flame touched his face, the gravity of the situation hitting him fully. The first lick of heat reaching his cheek.

She has the sudden desperate need to know. Azula wanders to the captain’s quarters. Nobody crosses her path, obviously. Sometimes it pays to be like this.

She rifles through a few papers and then-

15 year old Zuko, traitor to the Fire Nation. The scar on his face surprises Azula, even though it shouldn’t. She watched his skin boil. Of course it would scar. Of course it would look like a handprint.

Azula cups her own cheek, feeling her hand heat up slightly. Oh.

Why is she so surprised? She- she knew there would be a scar.

She’s splitting too much. She’s in the middle of the ocean. She is Crown Princess Azula. She is Crown Princess Azula. She is Crown Princess Azula, and she doesn’t care that her traitor brother has a scar. She is Crown Princess Azula, she doesn’t care that she scares the crew, she doesn’t care that she scares her friends, she doesn’t care that her traitor brother has a scar, and she is not the Avatar.

She neatly folds the drawing and slams the captain’s door on her way out.

  
  


\-----------------------------------------------------------

  
  


She manages to keep it together until they dock at the Nia Gaong port to restock supplies.

And then it happens again.

At least she’s alone this time. Did something trigger it? She doesn’t really know. She doesn’t understand anything anymore. She doesn’t know why she reacts like this. It’s illogical.

She lets out a scream and shoots lightning at a tree. It cracks and crashes down, but that’s not good enough. She scorches the grass beneath her feet. She lights a bush on fire with her bright, blue flames. She-

She knocks herself over with a gust of wind. She catches herself, but she’s shaking hard at the realization of what she did  _ accidentally. _

And then she starts to cry again.

With no Ty Lee to interrupt her, she sobs hard. She presses her forehead to the found as she begins to hyperventilate. She can’t do this. She can’t do this. She’s a monster. She’s sick. She’s a traitor. She-

She shouldn’t be alive. She was unlucky to be born. She was cursed. She has no allegiance to the Fire Nation. She has no allegiance to the world. She has no allegiance to  _ anything. _ She isn’t a  _ person. _

She stops remembering why she’s crying, and she just does. She sobs on the ground of the dirty clearing, pathetically.

Her thoughts shift to Zuko again. To his picture. To the scar she deluded herself into thinking he wouldn’t have. She remembers him pledging his loyalty to her. He’s an idiot. He’s so stupid. Why did he let Ozai do it? Why did he- Why did he-

Why is she judging him when she’s never stood up to him in her entire life?

She doesn’t think. She cups her own cheek again and feels her hand warm up. Is that what it felt like for him? She pushed harder, and now it starts to hurt. It’s still not enough. It’s burning. It’s burning. She pushes harder as she laughs and as she cries. The last thing she sees before she blacks out is the hints of blue dancing in front of her eyes.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Azula wakes up to the soothing feeling of water on her face. It feels like the clear stream near the palace, and she leans into it.

“It looks bad,” a worried, soft voice says, “I don’t know if I can heal it completely.”

Azula opens her eyes. Before promptly shutting them again when water gets in her eyes. She instinctively tries to move away, but there’s a gentle, firm hand pressing her down. Her nervous system flip-flops between freaking out at being restrained and not minding the close contact. In the end, self preservation wins, and she’s scrambling away, getting to her feet.

“Sorry!”

She presses her back against something solid- a tree, she realizes- and opens her eyes again to see-

Two people. Dressed in water tribe gear. Staring at her.

Azula breaths heavily as events come crashing back to her. She moves her hand up to touch her cheek, and someone yells “Stop!” just as she yanks her hand back and hisses in pain.

“I’m so sorry we scared you,” the soft voice says again, “Please don’t touch your wound. I think I can heal it, but it's still going to scar.”

“Heal?” Azula says, dazed. She focuses her eyes on… a girl about her age. With braids in her hair. The braids made two loops, and Azula finds herself staring at them. It looks like something Ty Lee would love. She can already tell that Ty Lee would like this girl. She

“I’m a waterbender,” soft-voice says quietly, “Water healing. Would you let me?”

Azula stares in her eyes and finds herself wordlessly sitting down. Soft-voice smiles softly. Soft-voice is just soft-girl, apparently.

“Would you let Sokka stay on your other side? It might be hard to not flinch, but it will hurt less if you don’t move as much.”

The boy behind her- Sokka- looks harmless enough. He looks about as soft as soft-girl does. Azula could probably beat them both in a fight, though she didn’t have much experience with waterbenders. Until- she glances at the… weird blade thing? Attached to his hip. So not a bender, probably. She lets out a sigh of relief.

“Leave the… weapon,” she mumbles, pulling her legs to her chest. She’s in no place to be bargaining with strangers who want to waterbend her fuckup away. Still though, the boy tosses the weapon in the dirt. Soft-girl is already at her left, and Sokka moves slowly to slot at her other side, a firm shoulder bumping up against hers and grounding her. Soft-girl moves slowly. So slowly. Do they think she’s a scared animal? She lifts her hand under Azula’s chin and moves her head up slightly. She smiles. Softly. Of course.

Something weird bubbles inside Azula’s chest, and it’s surprisingly not a laugh this time. She likes the attention on her. But why? She’s always had all eyes on her.

She should be freaking out about her face a lot more than she is. She should be doing a lot of things.

“It’s not as bad as I thought,” soft-girl says, “Sorry for freaking you out so much. I thought it was a lot more urgent than I guess it is. It’s how to tell how deep a burn is sometimes.”

“... It’s fine,” Azula mumbles. As she sees the water in an orb above her face, she closes her eyes. This is… this is very different.

The water feels cool against her skin once again, and…

It feels good, even if it stings. Her cheek hurt a  _ lot _ , she realized now that it was going away. Still, the slight sting of the water has her grateful that Sokka is right next to her. She doesn’t have to tense up and stop the instinct to flinch- she just presses against the boy.

The water leaves her face, and Azula opens her eyes slowly. Soft-girl is sitting next to her.

“Is there anyone we can get for you? I’m not sure how long you’ve been here, but someone has to be worried for you.”

Azula shakes her head.

The watertribe members look at each other a moment.

“Sorry,” the girl says, standing up and offering Azula her hand, “I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Katara.”

Katara. That’s a nice name. It sounds pretty. Katara, the healing waterbender. What a concept.

“... I’m Akaru,” Azula lies smoothly. It’s second nature by now. Just adopt another personality, what could possibly go wrong? … Maybe Avatar Azula could be Avatar Akaru instead. Not that she’s going to tell them who she is, but. In her head at least. She takes Katara’s hand and stands up.

“And I’m Sokka,” the boy says, but Azula doesn’t take her eyes off of Katara.

Azula makes her face curl into an awkward smile. “Thank you, Katara,” she says, lightly. Like air. Maybe Avatar Akaru is as soft and friendly as master waterbending healer, Katara.

Katara makes an odd face that Azula absolutely can’t read. It doesn’t look good though. Whoops.

Azula side steps, giving an awkward smile. She suddenly feels very 14. She gives an awkward bow. “Thank you! I should be going now-”

“Going? You just suffered a really bad burn! You must be exhausted.” Sokka interrupted. Azula feels annoyed. She’d rather Katara said it in her soft voice. Still, Sokka reminds her of someone.

Azula rolls her eyes, feeling more like herself without the intense burning on her face. “I’ll be fine. I’ve suffered w-” okay, no, she hasn’t had worse, “Burns before.”

Katara looks horrified. “I… Who burns you?”

Does Katara not realize she’s Fire Nation? It should be obvious by-

Her nondescript cloak, comfortably over her soldiers, and her hair pulled down and a mess.

Azula looks away, running a hand through her tangled hair. Plans and ideas fly through her head. “My father,” she says, and that part is not even a lie, “Well, who I thought was my father. Until I turned out to be a waterbender. Not sure he’s my father anymore.” Technically, she still hasn’t lied. He disowned Zuko for much less than being the Avatar.

Katara gasps. Azula almost feels bad, but she likes the soft girl with braids.

“I- That’s horrible. Do you have anywhere to go?” There’s a fire in Katara’s eyes, and  _ oh.  _ Azula doesn’t know how to handle the flip-flopping in her stomach.

“Not really,” she admits, “Might just go back on the Fire Nation ship I came on and hope nobody asks what happened.”

“Absolutely not,” Katara spits, “Akaru, you’re joining us.” as if it’s final.  
_Agni, what am I doing?!?_

Azula glances at Sokka, but Sokka just seems to take Katara’s lead on this. He nods. “Even if you aren’t from the Water Tribe… The Fire Nation sees you as one. And if you’re a waterbender, whatever is going on means you have water tribe blood. Water tribe sticks together.”

“...Okay,” Azula, no,  _ Akaru _ says. This is so dumb. This is so dumb. But Katara’s hair loops are pretty, and she’s a waterbender, and Azula wants to stay with her, and Sokka reminds her of Zuko, and Azula knows she’s one more mental breakdown away from much worse consequences if she stays here.

Katara’s face lights up. Sokka even smiles. These two strangers are idiots, she decides, but Katara is a master waterbender, and Sokka is obviously a warrior. She’d be an idiot if she passed up a chance to leave with valuable allies. Right?

“What exactly am I joining you for though?” Azula asks, a bit too late.

“We’re going to find Avatar Zuko!” Oh. Agni.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Azula burns herself on the face. She doesn't consciously decide to self-harm, but it is purposeful and meant to hurt. It is healed soon after though


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is extra unbeta because I didn't even bother running it through spell-check. This chapter is dedicated to my brother who I am 99% sure is just lying about being hyped for this dumpster fire of a fic, but I appreciate homies like that in my life still

“Avatar… Zuko,” Azula states blankly, blinking a few times. What was Zuko  _ doing _ ?

Katara doesn’t seem to mind her confusion. “Haven’t you heard? The Avatar was reborn into the Fire Nation, and he’s looking for a waterbending master. Apparently, he already has an earthbending master. Not sure what he’s planning to do about airbending, but maybe he’s just not worried about that one.”

Azula stares at Katara before a giggle escapes her lifes. Her lips quick up. “Is he really?” she asks in amazement. Was this purposeful? Did he choose to make himself a target? Katara nods, and Azula feels like it answers her question.

“My sister isn’t a master,” Sokka pipes in, and for some reason Azula just wants to focus on the fact that they’re just siblings, “Yet. But she’s going to be! We’re headed to the North Pole  _ first _ ,” he stops to glare at Katara, who just rolls her eyes, “And then to find the Avatar.”

Travel with Katara and her brother, learn waterbending, and then find Zuko who… apparently has an earthbending teacher for her? If this wasn’t divine intervention, Azula didn’t know what was. She wasn’t really one to pray to Agni, but maybe she should start. Princess Azula fades to the back of her mind. Okay. Okay. Avatar Akaru. She is Avatar Akaru.

“Don’t feel like you have to come with us all of the way there,” Katara says with a sad smile. She’s backtracking, and… her face is red? “Just… come with us for now? Don’t go back to… where you got that.” She nods apologetically towards Azula’s face, and Azula feels the leathery, tight skin on her cheek burn.

“I will accompany you as long as-” Azula starts and then pauses. No, kinder. She wants Katara to like her. “I.. would like to travel with you and your brother...Could you teach me waterbending too? I’m not very good. But with a teacher I will be.” Truthfully, she’s never really tried, too focused on airbending.

Katara’s face lights up again. “Of course! It will be like practice for when I teach the Avatar.” Azula giggles at that. She’s not sure what kind of laugh that was.

She keeps looking at Katara, and Katara keeps looking back. Azula has never been so close to  _ blue _ eyes. Blue, like the ocean, not like the sky. Deep blue. Her eyes are strong but still soft. Their gentle, firmness draws Azula in. It’s like if someone took the less annoying parts of Ty Lee and mixed them with the finality of Mai and created a portal to the freedom of the ocean. Like-

“Okay then,” Sokka interrupts Azula’s train of thought, and both girls turn to look at him. He’s awkwardly standing a few yards away from them, but they’re awkwardly close to each other. Azula takes a step back. “We should probably get going. We were going to stop in Nai Gaong, but it’s pretty overrun with Fire Nation. The next stop after this was going to be Hedono, but that’s pretty far. We should be able to make it to Bu Lin before dinnertime though.”

“Alright... Gang,” Azula says, knowing her voice sounds very NOT Princess Azula-like, but she is Avatar Akaru, and the avatar doesn’t need to prove her strength, right? The avatar is a weapon. Azula is the furthest thing from a princess right now. “Catch me up on the game plan.”

Sokka’s expression perks up as he picks up a pack and pulls out a poorly drawn map. Azula’s hand absently goes to put a hand on the bag usually on her hip and-

Agni really is looking out for her if she actually had her bag  _ and her scrolls  _ on her. She nods along as Sokka begins his explanation and leads them out of the clearing.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

The sky is filled with stars, her belly is full from a warm stew made with meat she’s never tasted before, and she’s sitting cross-legged in the grass, staring at a warm fire in front of her. She feels like she dropped out of the sky into a world with completely different rules. At least this time, there doesn’t seem to be punishment if she messes up.

She steals glances at Katara arguing with Sokka, something about the best way to approach the Northern Water Tribe so that they’re not attacked instantly. Azula is only half-following the conversation, and she’d join the conversation, but she agrees with Sokka- the Northern Water Tribe is ruthless, and there’s no way they won’t be suspicious instantly. Especially Azula- though neither of them say it. So far, Katara keeps looking at her like she’s an ally, and Azula would very much like to keep it that way, so she keeps quiet about her opinions.

Azula looks back to the pot of water, cooled after having been boiled on the fire. She takes her wooden stew bowl and scoops out a small amount of it, placing the bowl of water at her feet. The fire crackles in front of her, and it makes Azula shiver.

Firebending comes from power within. That much, Azula has mastered. It comes from anger, really. Ambition. Raw willpower.

Airbending is different. At least for Azula. At least so far. It’s about control. It’s already there, just needs to be driven. It’s about perfect manipulation and the chain reaction of each little particle of air. Uncle Iroh would say something about a butterfly and a hurricane, but Azula can’t remember exactly what it was. It’s been a while since she’s seen him and even longer since he willingly spoke to her without disgust on his face.

Water is neither air nor fire, but, she reasons, it’s going to be closer to air than fire. The water is  _ already there _ , like air is. Maybe she should get up to practice- she had to use her whole body when she first started airbending.

She stands up and brings the bowl away from the fire- no use in accidentally extinguishing it. Many of her firebending katas translated over well to airbending, as long as she lightened her feet. She made sense of that because she should brace herself against the air- the air is all around you after all. She created her own fire, and air was always there.

How does that translate to waterbending?

She takes a deep breath, settling herself. She moves her hand in the air before flicking her wrist. The water splashes, which would be a success, but Azula is 100% sure she just moved that with a gust of wind. So, no dice. Not surprising.

Should she try meditation again? Water doesn’t really seem like an inner strength. Is she supposed to just brute force it? She can do that with air because it’s so light, but water feels-

“Hey, Akaru?” Azula would flinch if she wasn’t so in control of herself at all times. She turns around to see Sokka standing a few feet behind her like she’s a mother dingobear. She hadn’t even realized him and Katara were done arguing.

“What?”

He pauses. “So,” he says awkwardly, “I’m going to say something that will probably upset you. And then I am going to offer to help you with it. Because it’s bad right now, but it doesn’t have to be.”

“Are you talking about my bending?” While she had previously talked about learning to bend from Katara, Sokka could be just as apt as waterbending katas. A strange pang of regret runs through her at the idea that Katara might not be the one teaching her.

“Uh, no,” Sokka interrupts her unnecessary grief, “Not a bender, remember? This is uh. This is about your hair.”

“My… hair?” Azula slowly reaches up to touch her hair, but Sokka steps right in front of her to grab her wrist. As soon as he crossed into her personal space, she deflects his hand by grabbing it and twisting it back for just a moment.

“Ouch! Ouch! I got it!” He’s backing up instantly, “Sorry- just-! Don’t touch your hair, okay? It’s just going to make you upset. It’s burned pretty badly.”

A hot iron runs down Azula’s throat and into her gut. She can’t tell if it’s anger at being touched, anger at being told what to do, guilt that he hurt Katara’s brother, or embarrassment and shame at how she must look. She decides it’s the anger at being told what to do, so she reaches up and feels it.

The first thing she notices is how brittle it is. It feels gross and dry. She can feel knots in overly-frizzy hair, each strange ending in a split end. She doesn’t want to imagine how it looks. “What?” she snaps, seeing that Sokka is looking at her like he pities her, “Were you going to mock me? Offer to shave it off for me?”

Sokka looks mortified but he doesn’t seem put off by her anger. “I- No! I was going to tell you I was going to braid it.”

Azula has a memory flash through her mind. She’s 12, and Ty Lee wants to braid her hair. She shot fire at her feet. She can’t go that far, but- “Oh, you were just informing me?” she says, getting defensive. Her cheeks are bright red, she knows it, and she wishes she knew any earthbending so that she could sink into the ground. “I don’t get a choice in the matter?”  
Sokka doesn’t even flinch. “I won’t actually fight you,” he says carefully, “But I was leaving you the dignity of owing me something.” He moves his left hand up- a comb.

Azula just… blinks. “I…” she’s trying to rapidly think through each action. God, when did her life get so difficult? “I guess it. Can’t get much worse.” She mumbles out the last part.

Sokka grins and tilts his head. Azula follows his gaze to a large rock not too far from them. “C’mon. Katara mentioned wanting to show you what she knows once the moon gets high, and I’ll be done before then if we start now.”

Azula smothers the anger of being told what to do. Why didn’t someone mention it earlier? How badly  _ was _ it? Oh, Agni, how dumb did she look at Katara? Sokka sits on the rock. Mutely, she sits on the grass in front of him.

“Stop thinking so much,” Sokka sighed, “You’re what- 12? 13? Katara is 14, and she’s just as attached to her hair. I know it sucks now, but it’ll go back… Want me to cut the split ends off while I’m at it?”

“I’m 14!” she snaps, trying hard to light anything on fire. “... And yes.”

“Okay, shorty,” he snorts in reply, not realizing what a deadly machine he was insulting.

“I’m not short,” she mumbles, and she tenses up as he touches her hair, “Katara is just tall.”

Sokka hums in response, and she feels the comb slide down her hair… or attend to. It’s harder than she thought.

Azula doesn’t like a lot of things about the situation. She feels humiliated, insulted, small, powerless, and controlled. Her instincts keep telling her to lash out, but no- That’s Princess Azula. She’s Avatar Akaru. Avatar Akaru makes rational decisions, and rationally, she knows she doesn’t even own a comb.

After the first section of her hair has been combed through, Azula can feel Sokka shift, and then she watches as the split strands of her once flawless hair falls to the ground. The brushing gets easier, though still not enjoyable.

Azula assumed he would put her hair in a loose braid- like Ty Lee’s. While maybe a bit short, surely it was possible. Instead, she feels him start to separate her hair into two sections. She wants to ask, but honestly, she doesn’t know much about braids, and Sokka seems to know what he’s doing.

When he ties off the last strands, Azula shakes her head, frowning. “It feels uneven,” she complains, “Won’t this be terrible for fighting?”

Sokka snorts behind her, getting up. Azula follows suit, but she almost wants to demand that he fix her hair right now. She reaches up to feel it, and… Oh. Yeah. That makes sense why it feels uneven.

It feels like swooshing lace starting from the top right side of her head down. There’s two small braids right in front on the right side, but the rest of her hair is incorporated into the lace, leading down to a singular tight braid.

“You lost more hair on the left,” he admits, “I didn’t want to make it obvious.”

Azula feels… something? It’s warm but not iron hot. “Oh. Thanks.” She says awkwardly, deciding not to bow. That might be a little much, right?

Sokka smiles again. “You going to keep practicing waterbending on your own then? Or should we see if Katara is down for some midnight waterfights?”

Azula has never been more grateful for someone changing the subject. She wants to ask about why he knows how to braid when his own hair clearly isn’t braided, and she wants to ask what Katara will think of her hair, but both of those conversations are about her hair, and she wants the humiliation as far away as possible. She grabs the bowl of water a few feet away, “I’d like to see how Katara bends,” she admits, shrugging as she follows him back, “I know I can waterbend, but I’m… really bad at moving it.”

“Lucky for you, I am also a really bad waterbender,” Sokka quips, and Azula accidentally lets out a genuine laugh.

“Somehow I agree with you.”  
“Oh yeah? What if I told you I was a different kind of bender?”

Azula stops. He seems completely serious. She narrows her eyes. Is he an Earthbender? There’s no way he’s a firebender, right?

“Boomerang bending!”

Azula just stares at him… before erupting into hysterical laughs.

This is a good laugh, she realizes, even though she can’t stop. There’s tears in her eyes, and that joke really shouldn’t have been so funny, but it was so ridiculous that she can’t help herself.

“Hey!” Sokka laughs, joining in, “I was being serious!”

Azula smiles, and her laughing stops softly. She feels like a wine bottle top that just popped off. “Okay, Boomerang Master Sokka.”

“Hey, hey. Just let me have this. I grew up with a prodigy bending little sister.” Azula silently agrees to let him have this. At some point, maybe she’ll tell him about Ty Lee and Mai. And Zuko. He’d probably relate to all of them.

She misses Zuko a little bit.

When they reach the campsite again, Katara looks up. When she spots Azula, her face goes through a rapid series of emotions that Azula can’t place. When it’s over, her expression is bright red but angry as she glares at Sokka.

“Sokka!” she snaps, and  _ oh  _ oh. Azula has gone through so many confusing feelings the past day, but this is one of the strangest. “You said you weren’t going to bring it up!”

_ She’s angry at him for me _ , Azula realizes,  _ She’s angry  _ **_for me_ ** _. _

“I wasn’t just going to let her look like she didn’t have anyone to help her!”

“And you seriously couldn’t wait just a few days before approaching the subject? Tu and La, Sokka, did you just walk right up to her and insult her hair?”

_ That’s how it felt. _

“No! I just told her the truth, Katara. And I fixed it! It’s all fine now. Nobody has to feel bad about it.”

_ I still feel bad about it. _

“You’re an idiot.”

“Oh yeah? You can’t protect everyone from everything. Just because-”

“It did make me feel bad,” Azula interrupts. Sokka shuts up. Katara looks satisfied but still angry. “But it’s. Okay. I know you… didn’t mean any harm.” Azula feels her own anger… not fade, but dwindle. She doesn’t feel like she’s suppressing it anymore, at least. It’s just suspended there in a vat of gelatin.

“It still wasn’t right to mention,” Katara shakes her head, “You were attacked.” Her face gets soft to look at Azula. “No one expects you to recover instantly.” Then she’s glaring back at Sokka. Azula really wishes she could earthbend again. She can never allow Katara to know that she did this to herself. All of the soft looks would go away.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Sokka defends. He sighs. “You might be right though… Sorry, Akaru. I didn’t want you to find out by looking in the water or something and then get upset.”

Azula feels tongue-tied as she nods, and suddenly she feels exhausted. She’s spent the entire day not freaking out and analyzing what these two strange people meant and trying to think through  _ waterbending  _ and-

“You okay?” Katara’s face is soft again. Azula realizes she’s swaying.

“I’m really tired,” she admits, too overwhelmed from the day to make up another lie. They’ve already seen her at almost her lowest.

Katara smiles, and Azula feels the center of gravity shift to revolve around just the girl in front of her. Azula has always been the angry one, but Katara still looks soft and angry at the same time. Azula wants to… be her friend. Katara would make a great addition at Azula’s side. Maybe when Zuko is Fire Lord, she could…

“Let’s call it a night. I don’t really have much I can teach you… I just kind of wanted to show off,” Katara admits, and Azula tries to smile back, though she knows it looks awkward.

“Tomorrow,” Azula promises, “I’ll look forward to it.”

Sokka is completely forgotten to both girls.

“Tomorrow,” she agrees, “Definitely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never braided before, and I've never had my hair braided. I do love braids though, and I'm growing my hair out so I'll be able to.


End file.
